Most of the people I speak with online about living with a chronic illness would probably think I was crazy for saying “thank you” to my body. More often, though, I am finding myself doing just that. I’ve learned to accept this body and I can honestly say that she frustrates me to no end sometimes! I enjoy thanking this weathered body for giving me wonderful days to spend with my family when I’d normally be
Why more often, though? I have finally found a group of medications that are actually working together to give me better days in a row. In the forefront of my mind, I am optimistic and hesitatingly excited. In the back of my mind, I am reminding myself to treasure these good days and enjoy myself
After living with chronic pain for the last 18 years, I’ve realized that my
Why Say “Thank You” When It Hurts
In Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Robert Emmons writes, “Gratitude is the acknowledgment of goodness in one’s life.” He goes on to say that
I didn’t understand why I was
By saying “thank you” to my body on the bad days for allowing the good days, I am building positivity within myself. The act of saying “thank you” actually makes me smile and lifts my spirits. Even though I’m in tremendous amounts of pain, lying in bed with no relief in sight, I am still able to smile and feel happy. It’s a process that I actually enjoy.
Self Gratitude in Action
My daughter’s 18th birthday was on Friday, September 21st. We spent the day driving to Atlanta, GA to fulfill her request to visit the Georgia Aquarium. She just HAD to go! For weeks she’d been begging. I never did say yes or no, honestly I didn’t want to promise her a trip that might not happen if I was too ill. Gratefully, I felt fine that Thursday night and we decided to pack our bags to head out that Friday morning.
The drive down from Fayetteville, NC is about five hours, six if you are my family! We took Oso with us…as evidenced by the abundance of golden dog hair all over the car interior and clothing I still have yet to wash. Which reminds me, never wear black clothing when traveling with a golden retriever!
The ride in my white Rav4 was comfortable at first. What helped most, though, was that I did not have any pain related to my herniated disc in my lower back. Normally, the pain associated with my painful back (from neck to tailbone), would have had me “switching cheeks” about every five minutes! I started the trip in the middle of a low-level migraine attack triggered by the hustle and bustle of packing and cleaning up before we took off. By the time I was in my seat and we were pulling out of our driveway, I knew was pulling out meds from my Emergency Migraine Kit and drinking Nuun.
By the time we arrived at our hotel the migraine was gone. We decided that since we arrived a little later than expected, we’d hit the
Fun Times
Saturday morning, we all woke up, got dressed, took Oso to doggy daycare, and made our way to the Georgia Aquarium. Once we were done there we decided to head across the way to Coca-Coca World. That was fun! We tasted sodas from all around the world made by Coca-Cola. Some were delicious and some were vomit-worthy! No joke. Utterly disgusting. We were exhausted, but hungry and ready to relax. We stumbled upon a Mexican restaurant on our way back to the car and decided to duck in and enjoy ourselves a little longer.
After dinner, I was craving ice cream. Trust me, this isn’t rare. I’m addicted. Anyway, I was a little impatient so I left Stephen and the kids in the restaurant to wander a few shops down to see what was there. Low and behold…an ice cream shop! It was
After we satisfied our dessert craving, we finally made our way to our car and braved the downtown Atlanta traffic back to the hotel. In case you were worried about Oso, we decided to let him stay the night at doggy daycare. Our hotel was not the best place for an animal,
We walked SO MUCH! Up and down. I ate deliciously HORRIBLY! It was a lot for this body. I’m so surprised I didn’t trigger more serious symptoms than I did that day. Only a couple times did I need to stop and rest to avoid any serious attacks. The resting did the trick and I was able to have a VERY active day.
The Day After
Ok, now to get to the point. I told you all about my weekend away because when we were headed home Sunday afternoon, after packing up and picking up Oso, I began to feel extremely fatigued all the sudden. Just plain tired. Which was odd because I slept well and woke up energized. Shortly after the fatigue set in, I felt hungry and irritated. My demeanor completely changed from happy-go-lucky to slow and slightly withdrawn.
While Stephen and the kids took a quick trip inside Petco with Oso to get shampoo wipes (I watched him get manhandled by other dogs and I couldn’t handle it, Ha!), I stayed behind in the car. I had a light snack while I waited for lunch because we skipped breakfast due to time constraints, but even that was difficult to stomach. I had really bad nausea and when it was time to stop for a real lunch a few minutes later, I just couldn’t do it.
Instead, while everyone else ate, I lowered my seat back and I tried sleeping it off. Unfortunately, the pain started seeping in and before I knew it was in the middle of a full-blown migraine attack AND my herniated disc was flaring up in pain. I couldn’t get comfortable no matter what position I found myself in. My body hurt,
During the ride home, I began reading You’ve Been So Lucky Already: A Memoir by Alethea Black. I’m not quite done with it yet, but I’m more than halfway through. The beginning chapters were like nothing I’d ever read. The style of writing is refreshing and I plan on writing a book review soon, so keep an eye out for that! It was while reading this book that I remembered to say “thank you” to my body. In my most painful moments, I gave a head nod to myself and my body for giving me such a beautiful day out with my family. They are memories I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Thank You Body
I am forever grateful to my broken body for finding the strength to give me days of no pain and low pain. I am grateful for the ability to say “thank you” to myself and smile despite the pain. I am grateful for the ability to say “it’s okay” to be pain-ridden after a few good days. My body goes through a lot when I’m feeling well. I try to “get it all in.” I try to do as much as I can because who knows how long it will be until the next time!
So THANK YOU body, for giving me time and allowing me to spend happy moments with my teenagers and making memories with my husband while we still have them home with us. I’m on the verge of tears as I write this because I know our days as a little family of 4 are limited. I will miss making breakfast for my kids and I will miss their words of comfort late at night when I can hardly move from all the pain. So, again, THANK YOU body, for working so hard to give me life.
You got this!
Leave a Reply