Broke and In a Bookstore

Sometimes life throws a curve ball your way, one you just can’t hit. This month has been really difficult for my family financially. Yes, I have a very big, extended family with big hearts. I could have called any one of them to help get us through the next few weeks. Sometimes, though, asking for help from friends and family is hard to do. Especially when you know they have their own financial situations. Temporarily being broke is a hard pill to swallow.

We chose not to call on our family. We had $0 in our bank accounts and we had no food. This isn’t the first time, but usually food stamps were only a few days away and my husband would drive for Lyft to make enough for dinner each night. That’s exactly what he was doing, but this time with no food stamps on the horizon for another month. You see, I had reapplied for food stamps late, not realizing the first deposit they give you two months up front.

The prorated amount of food stamps was not that much, so I assumed we had received a monthly increase. I did not space out the funds evenly between 8 weeks. We are a household of 4, but I only receive funds for 3. I thought they added in an additional person since my application was for 4 people. I did receive a letter that stated the funds included pro-rated amounts, but somehow my migraine brain didn’t compute that information.

Raising the White Flag

So, freaked out and highly stressed, I called our local USO to see if they could help us with groceries for the next month. It took a few days, but we were visited by an amazing non-profit that helps Veterans in need. Tony U. Brown, from Southern CC, Inc., visited my house with two boxes full of dry foods. Broke, humbled, embarrassed, and feeling lucky, my son and I accepted Tony into our home, so he could deliver the boxes. All we needed were groceries. All our bills were paid, the kids had their school supplies for classes starting a week later, and we had taken a trip to the outlet mall a couple weeks before for new clothes and shoes.

While Tony and I were chatting, I offered to help his organization with freelance writing and graphics work to help “pay” for the food he brought us. I didn’t want to just take without giving back. I’m happy to say that I will be working together with Southern CC, Inc. building content for their website and creating flyers for upcoming events. After talking to him about my husband’s vocalist job in the military, he invited Stephen to sing the National Anthem at An Evening of Honor for Spc Chris Harris in Fayetteville, NC. Now, my husband is also involved with Southern CC, Inc. performing for various events.

Sometimes life puts people in front of you when you least expect it. What Tony may not realize is this opportunity to work with him has given me another avenue of purpose, aside from Achy Smile and my advocacy work. Had I asked my family instead of the USO for assistance, I would never have met Tony and everyone in his organization, nor would I be working with them to help other Veterans in need.

How Did We Get Here

Here’s the thing, had I realized that our food stamps weren’t going to be awarded on August 15^th, I would have made the necessary adjustments to make sure we had enough to eat. I’m very on top of things like this. Unfortunately, sometimes I can’t think clearly or recognize information like I used to. I appreciate that our country has assistance for families like mine. We are working really hard on trying to get out of this system so the next family who is working hard to make their lives better can do so.

I’m sure you’re wondering why we are in this situation. Well, we have agreed to make a financial sacrifice while my husband is in school full-time. He gets paid by the Veteran’s Administration (VA) for disability and also receives a housing allowance for going to school full-time as part of Vocational Rehabilitation. With this money, our bills are covered, but there’s little left over for food. That’s where food stamps help us.

Why make this sacrifice if he can just work and we wouldn’t be in this situation? That’s a common question. My husband’s military job as a Lead Vocalist didn’t really help him get civilian jobs that paid enough for our family of 4.  He wasn’t in the service for very long and before he joined, he was a stay-at-home dad. Before I became chronically ill, I was the breadwinner of the family. I had a high-paying career that afforded us a very comfortable living.

After working jobs that didn’t pay much higher than minimum wage, we sat down as a family (my kids included) and decided that my husband would go to school full-time and not work. He tried working full-time while going to school, but with his own mental health issues, he was running ragged. It was a tough decision to make, it still is. I don’t work, as most of you know, due to my chronic illness.

What Are We Doing About It

My husband is in school in the Collision-U program at Fayetteville Technical Community College. He has all his basics completed, but one course, and is in his second semester of collision courses. By the time he graduates in 2020, he will earn multiple I-CAR (Inter-Industry Conference on Auto Collision Repair) certifications and secure jobs in the auto repair industry. His goal is to be an adjuster for auto insurance companies. He’s doing well and loving it. I’d hate for him to have to quit and take more minimum-wage jobs with health insurance taking a large chunk of his pay.

With a low income, a full-time college student, two high school students, and a chronically ill wife, my husband has his hands full. In order to help supplement our income, he works as a Lyft driver and drives after school for a few hours every day.

Sometimes Being Broke is Fun

Recently, we had to drive four hours round trip for my doctor’s appointment with no money. We had enough for gas, that was it. After my appointment, we decided it would be best if he drove for Lyft while we waited for him at Barnes & Noble. Trust me, my teens and I are like kids in a candy store in B&N. We didn’t mind at all!

He spent a little over an hour driving clients while we read and walked the isles in literary heaven. By the time he was back to pick us up, he had made enough for us to get something to eat and head back home. I know for a lot of people this sounds horrendous. But my kids and I had a lot of fun. We spent time together and I found out more about what genres they liked. We truly had a great time, broke and in a bookstore.