He loves me beyond words. We weren’t always this happy though. Our relationship suffered because of migraine and other reasons for YEARS!! It was mostly his misunderstanding of Migraine. Like almost everyone else, migraine stigma was ingrained into his belief system. He felt I exaggerated my symptoms to get out of doing the dishes and cleaning the house. He couldn’t understand how one day I was completely normal and functional and the next I was bedridden and couldn’t walk (I have Hemiplegic Migraine). Arguments and heated disagreements were a daily occurrence. I was considered lazy. It was mentally draining and unhealthy. We were toxic.⠀
Each year brought in newer and scarier symptoms. He was both scared and upset. He was warring with his emotions. Many, MANY emergency room visits and SEVERAL doctor appointments later, Stephen would come around to realize that it is possible for a migraine attack to manifest as a stroke and/or seizure. Migraine stigma started to loose its hold on him. His disappointment would turn away from me and towards the doctors who would dismiss me.⠀
Today, Stephen is my biggest supporter. He is becoming more and more educated about migraine as the years pass. My husband helps me talk to others about life with migraine and his passion shows. Stephen no longer makes me feel guilty for being sick all the time. Instead, he holds me if I ask and gives me neck massages when I’m in pain. ⠀
I hope that if your significant other is where Stephen used to be, they’ll make real change for you and themselves. It takes time, patience, and counseling. I’ve been told by past doctors and therapists to get a divorce. I almost did, 3 times. We’ve been married since 2001 and it’s been a hell of a ride! ⠀
Stephen and I began dating when I was 13 and he was 15. We’re 39 and 40 now. Talk about a bumpy road!! It still is, but now we’re working together instead of against each other. Life with chronic illness is so hard and draining for both of us. I’m so grateful he has opened his eyes to see what’s true. Stigma has been broken here.
Watch the video (below) Stephen and I participated in as part of the Speak Your Migraine campaign sponsored by Amgen and Novartis. Together, we decided it was best to be as open and honest as we could about how Migraine has affected us as a couple. I hope that you will be able to show this to your loved one who might be where we were in the beginning of this journey. My heart goes out to you!
This video is part of the Speak Your Migraine
campaign sponsored by Amgen and Novartis
Related Pages
Disclaimer: I am a former Amgen and Novartis Spokesperson. This content reflects my own personal opinions and was not created or reviewed by Amgen and Novartis. I was not paid to write this article.
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