Last night my son wanted to watch Thor and of course I did too! The life our kids live is different than most kids, as you know with any chronic disease. Stephen had to tell Noah that we could only go if I was up to it because it was the day after we got home from California to North Carolina and I had been exhausted all day. I was good though and wanted to go as bad as Noah did (we’re a bunch of Marvel Avengers nuts), until we went grocery shopping at Walmart.
By the time we were done I was wiped out. But I was still ok, the migraine pain level was a little over tolerable and my left temple was slightly throbbing, enough to feel it on my fingertips, and slight hemiplegic migraine (HM) aura. My HM aura consists of weak left leg and arm, so I was limping along a little and keeping my left arm close to my body. Most people wouldn’t know there was anything wrong with a glance. But Stephen, Marissa, and Noah notice, it’s so annoying sometimes. Ha! I can’t seem to dupe them.
Gratefully, with a little rest on the car ride home it faded to tolerable levels and I could move around just fine. I know I shouldn’t push myself, but went ahead and made chalupas for dinner…with shredded romaine, chopped tomatoes, slices of avocado, refried beans, and grass-fed ground beef. O-M-G! So delicious!
This is our life and we’re still living it with slight tweaks and modifications
While Noah loves and cares deeply for me, and does his best to avoid an episode by ensuring I’m taking care of myself, he’s also 15 years old. The whole shopping trip he kept asking me how I was feeling. I just smiled at him and told him I was ok, because I was for the first 30 minutes or so. Yea, it’s Walmart, who can stay in there for just 15 minutes! We needed a lot of stuff 😉
The guilt set in when I started noticing we’d better leave before the tolerable migraine turned intolerable. I had to do a little self-talk and tell myself that it’s ok. It’s not my fault I have migraine disease. It’s not my fault this neurological condition is part of our lives. I do not need to feel guilty and my kids will be stronger adults because of it. We’re doing our best to teach them acceptance and to live with what we’ve been dealt. To smile anyway. This is our life and we’re still living it with slight tweaks and modifications. We’re a team and we’re getting stronger because of our challenges.
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Stephen eventually said no to the 7:00 pm showing once he saw me and my pink eyes at around 5:30 pm. A tell-tale sign I’m not feeling so great. Later that night after dinner was done and our bellies were full, I was ready to go to the movie. Most of my symptoms were gone and I felt I could go out. So I checked the time and it was 7:23 pm. Well, damn. Thor will have to wait until tomorrow, I told myself…maybe I just won’t move or open my eyes until then! Ha!
It’s now tomorrow, so do what you do when things get tough and need to ask for a little supernatural assistance. I need all the help I can get so I don’t let my little (not so little) boy down tonight! We’re going to see Thor come hell or high water!
Erica Nicole Carrasco is a blogger sharing stories of life with Hemiplegic Migraine and Non-Epileptic Seizures. She takes you on a journey through life’s ups and downs, smiles and frowns with chronic illness.
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