Hormone Hell

I feel like my life is dictated by the day of the week, the week of the month, the month of the year. Why, you ask? Because hormones wreak havoc over the temperament of my migraines. One month my migraines will be sweet and stay away for the most part. They are lower pain level and I get to go out of the house and be alive. The next month, it’s like my hormones play catch up and pound their way into my body again. My pain level shoots up and migraine is a mean… You catch my drift, they make my life hell. And so goes the cycle from pretty good to pretty bad every other month.

After all of the years living with migraine, I’ve learned my body and what makes her tick. I’ve realized that even with a full hysterectomy and one ovary (2014), my life is STILL dependent on my estrogen levels, or lack of. I may no longer have a period, but my boobs don’t know it! I’ve had boob pain for over a month now and my migraines have also picked up. I started losing gobs of hair right before the breast pain began and now they’re swelling. Not sure the swelling is a problem for my husband. Ha! Boob pain, swollen breasts, hair loss (more than normal), more migraine that normal (even with medication), memory loss, etc.

How can ONE ovary create so many problems?? I requested a hormone panel this week. I dialed my doctor and told her what was happening. She agreed to do a hormone panel to see what was going on. My recent mammogram shows no signs of cancer, so I know it’s not. I have fibrocystic breasts, so I am supposed to have mammograms regularly (I don’t keep up with them but I plan to from now on). I know how important it is, I’ve had two family members with breast cancer.

I hope it’s as simple as the numbers telling us what to do. I’m so tired of getting the call that “everything looks normal.” Well I don’t’ feel normal! When I had my hysterectomy, they found I had adenomyosis. I was already diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) before the surgery and because my left ovary caused so many problems, they decided to remove it during surgery. I would bleed so heavily that I’d sway taking a shower with a feeling I was going to pass out. In addition, my migraines would become so painful I’d need an ER visit and IV medications. Migraines were so much worst when I had periods.

Even though I do not bleed anymore, I still know when it’s ovulation time due to PMS symptoms. But this month has been different. The breast pain usually goes away after four days or so. But, for the last five weeks I’ve had to sleep with a sports bra (also use it as my bra during the day) and stay careful when hugging my kids. My teens are very loving, and we hug often. A few nights ago, I suddenly, and painfully pushed my son off away when he wanted to say goodnight. His hug wasn’t tight, but it hurt SOOOO bad. I felt awful, but he understood. It isn’t the first time this has happened, but it’s been a while, since before my hysterectomy in 2014.

Why is this happening now? Is my right ovary failing? Is my ovary cystic? Is my pituitary gland acting up? What’s wrong??!! Of course, my mind is working overtime with worry. I’m doing my best to distract all of those thoughts and worry about it when the results come in and I’ve talked with the doctor. But, I’m not doing a very good job, obviously, I wrote this post! Now that I’ve written it, maybe I can let it be and enjoy the rest of my weekend.  Crossing my fingers… I hope your Saturday has been pain free and adventurous, you deserve it!

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